12 helpful phrases that make communication with the child easier

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There are situations when it can be very challenging to find the right words when talking to your child. Here's a dumb expression that is worth using more often.

12 helpful phrases that make communication with the child easier

1. "At the same time"

The "but" can often complicate an already tense or difficult situation. Often it gives a negative echo of a sentence that has been uttered in front of which we can mourn its small senses. Think of sentences like "I love you, but ...", "I'm sorry, but ..." that seem to mean "I love you but it doesn't," or "I'm sorry, but not so much." Instead, we use the term "at the same time," which is less of a drastic contrast between the two sentences. "I love you. At the same time, I won't let you sin for others." "I'm sorry you're mad. At the same time, running away is no solution."

2. "I need to…"

If you ask your child what you want them to do, we will give you the choice. (Eg What do you give birth, can we go? Do you want to pack your games? Are you ready, can we have lunch?) However, this tactic will only come to fruition if we really have the option of giving our child the choice. If not, then we need to be much clearer. "I need you to collect your games." "I need you to help pack the laundry."

3. "So I see…"

"I think they both want to play the same games."
"I think you're very upset." Avoiding blame and defense is a useful first-time observer role that makes it easier for everyone to solve problems. This suggests that we really want to understand the situation. Let's start by simply trying to describe the situation to an outsider (see two examples above). Then let the child decorate with what he or she says.

4. "Say ..."

As in the previous point, asking is often more targeted in certain situations than making specific findings. For example, instead of seeing the kid drawing, he would say "Oh, but nice bear!" let's say "Tell me what you drew?" (Especially if he didn't draw a teddy bear but a rabbit). Or when one of the kids beats the other, instead of rushing over to "I can't believe you got it!", We ask "Tell me what exactly happened?" (Especially if the trip was preceded by a bunch of fun).

5. "I like to see you when ..."

It's a good idea to use this term more often as there is no better proactive relationship between parents and children. Simply by making us aware that we are watching and liking what we are doing, will strengthen our confidence and positive appreciation in the long run. For example, "I like to see you play with your brother like that." "I like to listen when you play the piano." "I love watching you sleep so smartly."

6. "What do you think you can do to…?"

We like to intervene immediately in problem situations, but if we do not, we will help our child much more. In conflict situations, we can deal with requests such as: "What do you think you can do to make your sister feel better?" "What do you think you can do to do the harm you did to your friend?" It's important that after the child tells you what to do, do it and feel that this is their responsibility.

7. "How Can We Help…?"

There are times when our child really needs help, but in this case, it is worth convincing ourselves that we are actually helping and not "rescuing." We would like to help you to transfer responsibility to ourselves. "How Can We Help You Understand Your Homework?"

8. "What I know is ..."

Generally, when we rigorously run down a child with an exclamation of "You are lying!", It is almost certain that we are placed in a defensive, fleeing, or leaning position, rather than lenient and sincere. It is therefore worthwhile to introduce a few quasi-truths at this time. For example, "What I do know is that there were four biscuits on the table when I left." "I'm sure the players won't go anywhere by themselves."

9. "Help me to save ..."

Continuing the above idea, if we "invite" the child to help us solve a problem or understand the situation, it is much less difficult to defend than to directly explain "Explain." This is to show that we don't understand, but we want to understand. For example, "Help me understand what happened." "Help me understand how this got here."

10. "Sorry."

Many times it is not the child who makes the mistake in certain situations, but ourselves. We are human beings, we make mistakes, and often the child can learn the most from this, if we are able to acknowledge it and apologize. When we apologize, we are taught that this will happen to everyone, and they will be more inclined to do the same in a similar situation.

11. "Thank you."

Just as it is good for us to receive positive feedback from our boss, our child will thirst to be noticed and praised for doing something good. For example, say to him, "Thank you for helping the board move in." "Thank you for having your snack this morning." Or "Thank you for helping me first, despite trying to do another job. I'm very sorry."

12. "I love you."

Whatever we do or say, the most important thing is for our child to always know and feel that we love him. Before and during any challenging situation, let us know that you are in love and in safety. Unconditional love carries with it any parental error, even if we do not find the right words, or even say what we wanted. When we communicate about love and clearly show our love from time to time, there is no problem or conflict that we can't find back to each other (article here).

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