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It's hard to let go of mom's skirt

It's hard to let go of mom's skirt



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This kid is such a mother! But what did you do? To yourself, like, say, half a year ago, when you weren't born to your little brother? Or sent to neighbor Marci, whose mom - oh, I envy you! - Do you exercise several times a week?

"I don't remember me sticking with my mom so much. But I can't hold my hand, I don't want to relax for a while, either. But I'm incapable, he's in my corner for a moment, and I don't have to rest for a minute. I can't trust your father either. "
Who wouldn't know - for example, like an example from someone you know - these changes. Happy but tired mother-in-law would not have faced either the male or the grandparents' mouth-sounding life: the mother is the child!


Where is the boundary between healthy and excessive attachment?

The first contact with the world

We know a lot about infants and toddlers. We have instinctive parenting experiences, we can also rely on our childhood memories, and our helpful grandparents also rely on us to pass on their knowledge. We have developed a system of habits that are being reshaped every day, by the exchange of experiences near the playground sandbox, or even by secretly flipping childcare books throughout the evening.
Studying early mother-child relationships and recent methodological observations provide new scientific evidence for better orientation in child-rearing.
Developmental lecturers have created numerous models of the phases in which the meaning, emotional, mood and life of our children change, change, change, change. We could say that these are only thoughts, of course! However, there are two very important things that you may want to consider in practice.
One is that the baby's birth is instant, and even active, competent in the fetal life. Not just an instinct who is receptive to the effects of the outside world, but a small person who has a nervous system that is constantly responsive to the environment, responds to light, to light, to light, to light. He simply maintains a connection with the world around him, which his mother first ignored. And this would be the other, the mother-child relationship, in which a very important emotional bond is formed, which is the basis of any further sensation to others.

Don't let the angry eyes black out!

"I stand in the stairwell, waiting for the elevator. Even when the door is closed, I hear the cry of the child, who has demanded the prayer in protest, do not leave it to the great-hearted. I see the little baby's eyes all the time in front of me. What do I do? I get angry when I get helpless.

Familiar situation, right?

We need to know that in childhood there are life stages when children take into account their mother's absence with increased anxiety and sensitivity. An infant about eight months old, his mother is absent, sadly sorrowful, and even fleeing when strangers approach her. Can we say mother is a baby? No, because it behaves according to the given stage of development.
The two-year-old little toddler begins to grasp more and more, almost consciously to live in loneliness, not forgetting her mother's disappearance, as she was a few months earlier when she felt overwhelmed by the power of her movement. She follows her mother everywhere, even with her eyes, and at the same time wants to be independent of herself (many children chase her, scratch her mother).
What can we do? Let's face it, the morbid tyranny of the other-year-old child was all about recognizing that Mom is a different person who doesn't always want what she. And that's right: let's not be addicted to our kids! Let's get ourselves a little out and expect that at first you will be strongly opposed to our independence attempts. By the time you are two or three years old, things will get better. It's important not to be fooled! Let's say goodbye to him when we get home and keep our message. The child whose mother is happy is happy. However, if we are insecure, we also increase insecurity in the child. In the parable of the figure: one clings to a ladder that swings beneath it.

Natural fears cause legitimate anxiety

We can also see from the example above, it is important to know where your child is right when he / she is more attached to his / her parents than usual. There are life stages when this strong attachment is normal. But also, regardless of development, what is the mental state of the child, what we, the parents, are, what is the current state of the family's family: that is, what happens to the child.
To a degree, his fears may be natural. Events in the family (the townhouse, the election, the birth of a little brother) can occur in the family when the child is temporarily absent from his or her parents. Being ageless, you feel insecure, anxious, and if you can, get a hold of the baby you are about to reach.

"She's three years old and she's always like that, but she's having trouble falling asleep in the evening. It's not all day long in my neck, she has to sit in her bed, collect her pet, hold her hand, and fall asleep. complaint about the order from the mamba. "I also know that it all started when her little brother was born and we received a bisexual ..."

"The baby is showing up in our bedroom now and every night, and she is dreaming of wanting to be with us. Her father is hurt and goes away. The situation is so overwhelming that she is almost a kid."


The heat of the brushes must not be dull

Is the child really afraid? Not necessarily. Anyone who, since he was a little old, has kept his eyes on all his desires, has been able to eat at night, has often been watered, and may have been accustomed to having his parents always by his side. Yeah, if we always calm her down, but let's get her back to sleep. It is important for the child to feel the boundaries, how long he / she can go, where he / she is, his / her role in the family. This gives him security, not the crippled heat.
If you think about it, recent examples illustrate one-off or just-lasting environmental effects that can play a role in a kind of family psychic division of labor and dynamics. These games are not conscious at all, and you can't really stop them.
It is important to know what we do and how to do when we "raise" our children. In addition to our relationship instinctively, know what's on your mind, what it feels like. If we are at least reasonably clear about how our child "works" and how we "work", we can better respond to our daily questions and dilemmas.The following books provide additional help with understanding and understanding of young children:
Tamás Vekerdy: Small to Large Volume I
Robin Skynner- John Cleese: How do you survive the family?
Zsuzsa F. Vбrkonyi: I am studying myself